Paul Hagins 1959 - Nov 3, 2011. Maybe We're All Already Dead and None of this is real anyway - Or something Like that.

I've often found myself wondering about some of the theories of Quantum relativity reality
matrix mechanics physics,...


Some Scientists have analyzed quarks, atoms, and matter. Electrons, probabilities, and photons, and nuclear complex numbers, ions and radon and wave equations and etc,...


And some have come to one conclusion,...


The closer you Look,..


The Less sense it all makes and,...


There can be no death,...


Or something like that,...


Perhaps what happens when we die is we just wake up some other day,...


Again earlier or later in this life,...


Or some other Life,..


or something Like that,..
,...Like one long endless dream matrix ,... Almost as if some kind of demented and demonic "Program"...


And of course,.. When we wake up and come to,..Where and when ever we are,..


We don't remember this Life,..


Just snippets of this thing glitch called De Ja Vue


We remember nothing,....


The only guy that got to do that,..


Was Bill Murray,..


In Groundhog Day,...


Yes,...


We just keep going round n' round,..


until we truly Love and forgive,..


And we gain all the lessons of life
And true knowledge,..
All kinds of it,..


Of course, God and OR the Ufo's Controlling all of us apparently,..
They like and love that first one about Love and forgiveness the MOST !!


"WE MUST LEARN PEOPLE
WE MUST LEARN !"


And I'll say it again,...


And they'll say it again,..


Now the walk ofcourse for Good ol' Clark the Wise One Shark from G.e. is a toughy indeed,..


And ofcourse a paranoid one,..


And yes,...


I'm constantly wonderin' if maybe this already is hell and I already died in some life that's now gone that I have forgotten,..


And maybe you all know it and aren't tellin' me,..


Kinda like the Truman Show,..


Or some Episode of the ol' Twilight Zone,..


Think about it,..


No one really cares about Shark,...


Few People call me,..


And rarely anyone does,..


at all,..


I've literally evolved and learned to roll with being a "Small Guy" - the ones the girls never wanted,..


I'm treated about the same way in general as they treated blacks in the 1960's and 50's,..


But actually ,....EVEN WORSE


I never know what I'm talkin' about or what I'm doing,..


I'm always full of shit,..


And someone always has to help me,..


And hold my Hand,...


And furthermore,..


If I am invited to a party on one of those odd rare occasions ,...


People make me feel like shit,..


and they're like; "See,... We all like You"
You can fire a Shark from his job - it don't matter ,...Shark's expendable and easily replaceable ...
Shark is disposable ! 


,..But an aging Shark knows the real deal,..


I'm beginning to confront this now one on one,..


In the past i've just ignored it,..


And gone and watched Tv,..


or gotten into the hot bath-tub,..


or onto my computer,..


But now,,...


I've figured out the real deal about this Earth,..


Shark is apparently a "Bad Guy" who 'never listens' and 'needs to learn lessons' unlike many of YOU !
APPARENTLY, YOU ALL KNOW MUCH 'MORE' THAN the Little naive Mr. Shark !
Shark is funny at best !


Nobody cares about Shark and as many have told me to my face or behind my back; I don't matter,...


It doesn't matter what Shark thinks,..


Shark just isn't one of the big tall preppy yuppies or surfers or somthin' like that,..


Shark is small and insignificant,..


Or atleast thats how they have strived to make me feel,...'


Hopefully they can get me to quit and go away and eventually give up and shit like that,...


Futility,...


Other older people in my family aren't treated anything like this,..


They do not understand the disrespect that literally "Is" the Shark' very walk,..


A hell of a lotta People don't like the Shark
one bit,..


They go out of their way to ignore me and do an excellent job also of pretending that I don't exist,...And especially when it is discovered that Shark is doing something good,..and is effective ,..


Now,... My Brother Paul - atleast when he was younger,..


He walked a much different path than a Shark,...


Paul had lots of friends and admirers or so atleast thats' what I saw,..


Paul got lots of chicks and I honestly don't think I've EVER FELT LOVE FROM EVEN ONE CHICK IN all my days,...Not even my Wife really !


People just think I'm weird and a geek.


A loser and a misfit,...


And a joke ....


Of all my brothers,... I think Paul was my favorite,..


With Greg a close second,...


The other three Brothers,...
You all out there may know the fuckin' deal....


Doug was really cruel to me,...


And he probably still would be today - if he could,..


Jeff was a really mean-spirited cruel jerk ,..not far from Doug's style ,..but then again a little different,..
in a sick psychotic way


And My Brother Bert in 1978, I would basically classify as a "Terrorist" - Period,..


These are the people that formed my Life,..


They formed the music too - of the Greenhouse Effect ,..and ofcourse songs like "Racers"


,..And Geffen Record's molding of the band Nirvana,...


Today, Me and Jeff and Doug get along on the phone,..We have to ,..We are in a mortal fight against my sister Mary ,..the Sole Trustee of our Family Trust,..


(,..And that's a whole 'nother story Like all the Hate in Red China ,...that I'll get into Later,...and maybe on the Eve of destruction,..)


Plus we're all old guys now,..


And these are my brothers


I have to Love them now,..We're older


We should be wiser too !


A lotta People say that I bring a lotta my shit onto myself,..


The way I dress - I look like a retard,..


And who would respect that ??


But hey,...
I guess it worked out well and ok for Kurt Cobain huh ??


And note here; I'll swear that in the past I have cut my hair and put on Bugel Boy jeans and button up shirts and the best cologne ,..and it didn't make one damn BIT OF difference,..


The people still pretty much all hated me and argued with me,..and on everyTHANG


The girls still despised me,..


Where-ever I went,..


And most of all


No one cared about me,..


AND AS USUAL !!


,...BUT TODAY


In this Theatre of the absurd that we're all in,..


Or what ever it is,...


My brother Paul died,...




My Brother Paul is Dead.




He just Left this Earth,...


And just Like that,...


Now,...
I know
,...A lotta People are gonna be at Paulie's funeral


There won't be a lotta People at Sharks !


Paul was a Great Musician,..


Sharks just some drummer who needs to shut up ,..He doesn't know what He's talkin' about,..


Paul was a cool guy


Everybody loved Paul


Clark is a loner and a recluse


Nobody Likes Clark


Paul was easy to deal with


Clark was difficult and impossible they say !!!


But I know one thang;


Paul had like this raging drug problem,..


And Clark didn't...


Paul had an amazing smoking Problem


That probably slowly ruined his heart


Shark didn't !


Paul would steal from people


Shark never would


When i think back right now about Me and Paul's relationship


It was all good


except for an incident in 1998


Where i almost never spoke to Paul again,..


People warned me that Paul could at times be 'A Back-Stabber"


I didn't believe it !!


I loved my brother Paul and I worshopped him like the Rock n Roll God that he was,...


Paul did that ol' thang where he formed a clique apparently with others and he cast me out,...


Sharks seen that one before,..


And over time, i let it go,...


because it was Paul !!


And he's my favorite brother !!


And I found that I just couldn't hate Paul,..


No way !!


Let me tell you about Paul's musical talent,...


This guy had the amazing stage ability to be the next combination of Mick jagger-Bowie_Peter Gabriel_Bryan Ferry and beyond !!!!


His band coulda' made it to the Billboard Charts ! The Jades !!


Paul couldn't sing very well,..


Certainly not in a league with Clark the Shark from G.e. and "Brandy", Ben is dead, and "White Black Thang"


it ain't gonna happen baby !!


That ain't the point,...


I may have the real actual big talent,...


But if I was to look you in the eye and honestly tell you who is gonna make it to the big time in the music industry ??


Is it gonna be Paul Hagins or Clark Hagins,... ??


In two seconds flat I would say; PAUL HAGINS !!!


THE GUY JUST HAD ROCK N ROLL TALENT THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE AMAZING


AND HE WORKED THE STAGE AS A LEAD SINGER FRONT MAN THAT DOMINATED..


He ruled the South Bay !! 1979 to 1983-ish,...


AND IN THE SOUTH BAY, HE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN,...


AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T LIKE CLARK THE SHARK AND GREENHOUSE EFFECT,...


I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ROCK N ROLL... ,..the way that Paul did !!


Paul 'lived" rock n roll,...


And he was a REAL MAN No matter what some may say,..


He was a rock star where-ever he went,..


And it's a bummer that the drugs wrecked his life all the time,..


I only know what it's like to be addicted to one Sominex at bed time,...


I'm just some Panzy-Ass Republican dude,...


Paul did hard drugs and he couldn't stop,...


He did the kinda shit that woulda killed Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain much earlier !!


Somewhere in the South bay,...


It is written this;


PAUL HAGINS 'IS' ROCK N ROLL !!
THAT'S BECAUSE HE WAS !!


THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS !!


HE IS A LEGEND AND HE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN IN LOS ANGELES AND THE SOUTH BAY,....


BUT,...
What I just wanna say is he was a great guy to hang out with and talk to


I always Liked to see Paul and greet him ,..


He was very spiritual and always talkin' about Heaven and the Lord,...


Lets all just hope and Pray that he went there !!


I know he did because Our Lord really Loved Paul - Like a Son ,.... And People knew it !!


I love you Paul,...


I wanted to be in band and play rock n' roll because I saw you do it,..


I watched you at Mi Casita in Torrance on Crenshaw those nights ,..


I studied what You and Jeff Miller did on stage with your energy and power but it was genius - I could only copy it,... never duplicate it ...


The most amazing performing stage Front man,..


'who got the attention of Stewert Copeland's brother Miles,...


Damn those drugs,...


Without em'


'you woulda gone all the way !!


RIP
1959 - 2011
PAUL HAGINS


A Father of Four


And a friend to so many !


IN HEAVEN FOREVER


WITH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST !!